Jack Flaherty ain’t going away

I think the Tommy Pham trade broke us. Tommy Pham was a rarity for the St. Louis Cardinals—an outspoken player. And then, at the trade deadline in 2018, he was traded. And we collectively assumed the two were related. That the St. Louis Cardinals, assumed to be a particularly small-c conservative organization even by the…

Just cancel the season already

This weekend, three St. Louis Cardinals players were revealed to have tested positive for COVID-19. I hesitate to limit this to three; hopefully I'll remember to update this post in the event that this number increases. It seems like there is a decent chance of that. Of the three players who have tested positive, two…

The Cardinals’ All-Alphabet Team

There are twenty-six letters of the alphabet. There are twenty-six players on a Major League Baseball active roster. So I had an idea. How good of a baseball team could I compile in which every player’s last name begins with a different letter? It’s pretty simple—I get one guy whose last name begins with A.…

The New All-Century Team

In 1999, Major League Baseball unveiled its All-Century Team to commemorate the best players of the 20th century. This was a watershed moment in baseball analysis for me—in an era where balloting was done by paper and submitted via mail, my dad was insistent that the ballot be taken seriously, and thus I, a ten-year old,…

The Greatest Cardinal championship belt

Asking who the greatest St. Louis Cardinal is at a given moment can be a bit of a tricky question because, honestly, it's hard to weigh the factors to call somebody the greatest. But I want to try it anyway. One easy solution would be to look at the team's leader in Wins Above Replacement…

At some point, baseball isn’t worth it

My favorite part of watching football is when the quarterback throws a ball in a spot where only the receiver can catch it and the receiver defies what we think we know about acrobatics to complete the reception. My least favorite part of watching football is the unavoidable fact that the sport is destroying its…

Michael Jordan, antiquated basketball player, was a modern baseball player

Like millions of other sports-starved people, I eagerly anticipated the first two episodes of The Last Dance, ESPN's ten-part documentary mini-series about the 1997-98 Chicago Bulls. Naturally, most of the show's focus is on the team's greatest superstar, Michael Jordan. The first two episodes, which debuted to huge ratings on Sunday night, were generally strong. So…

This…is…St. Louis Cardinals Popular Game Show!

In a game show format that many people are saying resembles that of the popular syndicated television show Jeopardy!, John and Turp are joined by NBC Sports writer Drew Silva and Viva El Birdos writer Gabe Simonds, with Turp jumping in as contestant and John serving as host. https://anchor.fm/the-st-louis-bullpen-show/episodes/This---is---St--Louis-Cardinals-Popular-Game-Show-ecc0no As always, check out the podcast…

The twenty greatest Stadium Gods

Last week, apropos of very little, I wrote about the greatest players at each major professional baseball stadium in St. Louis. The next day, I decided to take my extremely cool, not at all nerdy curiosity a level further and figure out the best player at every MLB stadium. I didn't dig quite as deep…

Why is Spring Training baseball still being played?

I can’t come up with a good rationalization for this. To put the well-being of players and fans at risk is a callous, irresponsible approach. Serious measures should be taken to combat Coronavirus, and the scientific consensus indicates that large public events such as sporting events should be delayed. All of the talk over the…

It is time for Dylan Carlson

With Saturday's bizarre news that semi-veteran St. Louis Cardinals utility bench player Yairo Munoz has left the Cardinals organization, the Cardinals find themselves with an open roster spot on the team's MLB bench. Munoz wasn't simply a Spring Training invite--he is a man who spent nearly the entire 2018 and 2019 seasons on the Cardinals…

A piece of millennial scum reviews the Whiteyball documentary “Birds of a Different Game”

Speaking as somebody born after the heyday of the "Whiteyball" era of St. Louis Cardinals baseball, the high-flying Cardinals teams of yesteryear have long been a source both of fascination and mild annoyance for me. On one hand, discourse about the team brings out some of my "Ok Boomer"-iest tendencies. In the build-up to last…

The cost of Nolan Arenado

In 2014, shortly after finishing their fifth consecutive losing season, the Miami Marlins signed their franchise player, right fielder Giancarlo Stanton, to the most lucrative contract in professional sports history, a 13-year, $325 million agreement characterized by backloaded money and a player opt-out following the 2020 season. The sheer dollar amount in conjunction with the…

The year of my dreams

2018 was a mediocre year for my sporting interests. The St. Louis Cardinals finished on a relatively high note, including a memorable surge for August and Matt Carpenter, but ultimately, they still missed the postseason for the third consecutive season. My college basketball allegiance, the Missouri Tigers, made the NCAA Division I Men's Basketball tournament…