The Cards play the Pirates in an ultimate showdown of pitchers entering the game with ERA’s of 3.56. We shall see who will win tonight’s ERA wars. Tonight you have O’Neill, Bader, and Martinez in the outfield, while Carpenter, Dejong, G. Garcia, and Adams line the infield. A win will keep the streak of series’ won in a row at ten.

First Inning

John Gant absolutely bastardized Starling Marte on three straight pitches, getting him swinging on three straight. After that… absolutely nothing happened; the Cardinals didn’t allow a run at all he just had to throw 30 pitches, working around two walks and a single to Cervelli. The third out came a la Stikeout De Moran. The Pace of Play Secret Police are already on high alert thanks to John! But no harm done, John.

Nauseous Matt came up and did his best Marte impression, striking out on three pitches. Molina and Martinez faired better by slappin’ fly outs to right, but still outs nonetheless.

Second Inning

No ball left the infield as Gant pitched to contact. One of the balls was beamed right at DeJong. Only eleven pitches tossed.

You know, I haven’t seen anyone bringing up Matt Adams’ alternate nickname “Jumbo Pepsi” since his return. Well anyway his batted ball was caught. Ugh, Joe Musgrove is such a jerk, why did he have to throw Tyler O’Neil three straight breaking balls? That was a mean, mean strikeout.

Third Inning

Marte beat out a bunt for a hit, Frazier slashed a hit. Whatever… So Polanco flies out to left and O’Neill impresses Marte with his throw back in, which resulted in some gregarious jawing between the two. John then reverted back to his alternate Cy Gant form and struck out Cervelli and Bell on four and three pitches respectively.

Greg weakly grounds out and LOOK AT THAT HARRISON BADER. I mean Harrison Bader hits an absolute bomb to left and tosses his bat down with grace and power. Alright John Gant comes up and I can’t believe I get to tell you this BUT HE CRUSHES ONE OVER THE WALL IN THE GAP. Back to back homers and I really am in a stupor. That’s only his second hit and both of them have been homers. What other pitchers are hitting bombs for every hit this year? Not even Ohtani! Well anyway, Matt Carpenter lifts one to the track, but undoubtedly due to the weak stomach wasn’t able to get it all the way out.

2-0 Cardinals

Fourth Inning

Strikeouts of Newman and Mercer guided Gant to a 1-2-3 inning. His pitch count is now only a bit over double what it was in the first tinning at 66.

Jose Martinez and Matt Adams start off the fourth inning with opposite field singles in the various directions that statement implies. Tyler O’Neill came up and I clenched my computer as he swung and missed at two more breaking balls, but on the third one of this at bat he was able to single and load the bases. Paul DeJong grounded out to drive in a run, but Garcia and Bader both struck out to end any more rallying.

3-0 Cardinals


Fifth Inning

Great goodness of all lords, Joe Musgrove just hit one over the fence in left but a few inches foul, and  I don’t know about you, but that certainly would’ve dampened my mood just a hair. Carp finishes off Musgrove with a great jumping catch on a liner. Another 1-2-3 inning from our pitching/hitting hero.

So Matt Carpenter avoided any additional stomach pain this time by walking on four straight pitches. Molina slashed a double down the line, and Jose Martinez ripped a single to score the pair. His long, lanky beauty was his undoing however, as he was thrown out at third.

5-0 Cardinals


Sixth Inning

After retiring the first two batters, Gant walked Bell on a full count pitch. Moran reached on an error by Greg Garcia, who wanted  to remind us all that he is in the game, and not Gold Glove Winner**** Kolten Wong. This induced a Shildty pitching change, which brought in Dakota Hudson, who induced a very nice diving stop on a hard hit grounder to Muñoz, who was induced into the game by a double switch moments before in place of Carpenter.

O’Neill got bastardized again by more Musgrove breaking balls as he struck O’Neill out again. DeJong strikes out. Greg Garcia grounds out.

Seventh Inning

Dakota Hudson strikes out Newman and Harrison swinging on various pitches. I just realized Hudson wears #43 and I could have my Shane Robinson player t-shirt taped up to be a Hudson shirt. Eh, Marte just slopped a base hit into the outfield to ruin my train of thought. Frazier is then walked on a full count pitch, and Polanco walks, too. Carlos Martinez arrived just in time to get Cervelli to fly out and there was no harm done.

The only thing of note being an Adolis Garcia pinch hit appearance in which he rapidly flied out to left while swinging at the first pitch.

Eighth Inning

Shreve came in to lefty for the Cards, and allowed a double to Josh Bell. He struck out Moran but then walked Mercer. ENOUGH. In comes Hicks. He’s just gonna blast a 102mph fastball right past Newman for the strikeout, with no regard for human life. BANG! He strikes out pinch hitting Corey Dickerson with a fastball swinging and the Cards are looking for the kill now.

Nobody did anything that happened.

Ninth Inning

Luke Weaver came into pitch, allowed one cheap single and double played his way out of it! Cards win! Cards win!

Post Game Analysis

So here we have a game in which was fueled by John Gant’s stellar pitching, John Gant and Harrison Bader’s timely and badass homers, and solid relief from the pen. If you can keep that up…. The Cards will sweep, I mean play the Reds this weekend. It would be very wise to sweep them given the nature of attempting to reach the playoffs.

Oh P.S. Gant won the ERA war with Musgrove, and then the Pace of Play Secret Police left happy tonight at a cool 2:53 with the final out.


OHH and thanks to for the free clipart.

2 thoughts on “8/30/18 Recap: Gant Does It All, Cards Win 10th Straight Series

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s