As a personal affront to me, the Cardinals and Cubs not only played a night game on Sunday, but also it was delayed by weather. But before this become an obnoxious diatribe about how games start too late these days, here were the starting lineups.

• 8:23–John Gant throws the first pitch. Okay then!
• The second batter of the game, Ben Zobrist, opened up the scoring with a home run to right field. The crowd went wild. This is revenge for Cardinals fans constantly (insanely) arguing that Cubs fans are a bunch of bandwagoners. I know it.
• Yadier Molina doubled, and for some reason the Cubs home crowd cheered this too.
• MARCELL OZUNA BACK. Ozuna hit a two-run home run to left field to give the Cardinals a first-inning lead for the second time in as many days. 2-1 Cardinals.
• As an aside, Ozuna has been so disappointing and, frequently, unpleasant to watch this season. Just, like, aesthetically so. But in a Dexter Fowler-like way, I can’t help but love the guy. He seems so pleasant even when his career is going poorly.
• To lead off the third inning, Anthony Rizzo hit a home run to center field. Frankly, this was annoying. 2-2.
• John Gant survived but wasn’t able to get deep into the game. By the fifth inning, Austin Gomber (who apparently is on the MLB team and isn’t in the rotation–I can’t keep track of these things anymore) was on the mound.
• In the fifth inning, Yairo Munoz made a good defensive play at second base. I like when that happens.
• And then Jedd Gyorko totally whiffed on a grounder at third base. I like that, to put it lightly, considerably less.
• And now Yairo Munoz also made a bad play. It was an error, Jason Heyward reached first base, and Anthony Rizzo scored the go-ahead run.
• The top of the fifth frustration continued as Javy Baez doubled to deep left, scoring two runs. The bleeding stopped, but not before the Cubs built a 5-2 lead entering the bottom of the fifth.
• Kyle Hendricks is shutting down the offense. I might as well post this recap now.
• In the top of the seventh, John Brebbia walked Jason Heyward on four straight pitches to put runners on first and second. It’s about time to figure out if the Cardinals are going to keep things under control or if they’re about to concede a 2-1 series victory. Anyway, Javy Baez is coming up so he better not get walked. He didn’t. Also, the bottom of the seventh inning ended before I realized it had started. I hate sports sometimes.
• Ty Webb is making his MLB debut. I have no formal opinions on the man. I look forward to making up my mind in the coming moments.
• Never mind, he has pitched in MLB, earlier this season with the Padres in fact. He did poorly. Future closer?
• Hey, two runners are on the bottom of the eighth for Yadier Molina. I want to go to bed but also this would be spectacular trolling. And I am here for it.
• Well that didn’t happen, but Paul DeJong tying it would be pretty awesome too.
• Paul DeJong did not tie it. In fact, he struck out swinging. Whoops!
• David Bote, who I am not yet totally convinced is a real person, led off the top of the ninth with a ground-rule double. That…is annoying.
• Oh, and Tyler Webb is still pitching. Kinda think the Cardinals know this game is over.
• And the bottom of the ninth came and went very, very quickly. Cubs win 5-2. What a boring, boring game.