Round Four of Jack Flaherty vs. Trevor Williams happened this afternoon while I was also simultaneously trying to write some words about Tyson Ross. I work hard for you people! So if I end up screwing up my tabs, my bad. If I blank out on a significant inning, check out the site tomorrow.

Here are the lineups.

• Game hasn’t started yet and Al Hrabosky is talking about how good Matt Carpenter has been against Trevor Williams in a grand total of thirteen plate appearances in his career. Yep, this is going to be one of those recaps where I just complain about Al Hrabosky. Buckle up, folks.
• Not a lot of action through the first two innings, though I would like to announce that Jack Flaherty is pitching very well so far. Hasn’t allowed a hit or anything. I’m proclaiming a no-hitter seven innings early so feel free to blame me if it doesn’t come to fruition.
• The no-hitter didn’t last much longer after I typed that sentence (though Flaherty got a hit before he surrendered one, so there’s that). Jose Osuna singled and next, Jordy Mercer was hit by a pitch. The next batter, pitcher Trevor Williams, successfully sacrificed the runners over to second and third. Jack Flaherty rebounded nicely, striking out Corey Dickerson before inducing a weak Starling Marte ground ball to escape the jam unscathed.
• Consecutive two-out singles from former college middle infield duo Kolten Wong and Greg Garcia gave the Cardinals some excitement in the top of the fourth, but a Harrison Bader strikeout ended the inning pretty benignly.
• Before the fifth inning, Fox Sports Midwest showed a highlight–Cleveland Indians third baseman Jose Ramirez’s 33th home run of the season. I just remembered his current contract and am furious again.
• Al Hrabosky, who absolutely does not deserve the cushy job he has because he is both extremely bad at it and doesn’t appear to have any motivation to stop being extremely bad at it, went on a mini-rant about how launch angle, basically guys trying to hit the ball high, is bad. Al is the perfect encapsulation of why MLB has easily the oldest average audience of the major professional sports–all he does is complain about how much better the game was when he played, and when those who are ostensibly supposed to cheerlead a sport spend every waking moment degrading it, why would anyone follow it? Anyway, like two seconds later, Matt Carpenter hit a home run, his 29th of the season, to give the Cardinals a 1-0 lead. I don’t want to know how much money Al Hrabosky makes. If you tell me, I will fight you.
• Following the home run, Yadier Molina singled, and following that, Jose Martinez singled to get runners on the corners. In his infinite frustration, Marcell Ozuna popped up, but with two outs, Jedd Gyorko singled to drive home a second run and put runners on first and second. Nothing more happened, but hey, runs.
• Jack Flaherty found himself in another jam, putting runners on the corners with one out. But an innocuous Jordan Luplow groundout yielded a double play, and through five, the Cardinals held a 2-0 lead.
• Despite the jams, um, Jack Flaherty is pitching really well still on the whole. Through six innings, after which the Cardinals held a 2-0 lead, he allowed three hits, one walk, he struck out seven, and he, of course, allowed zero runs. This is good and Jack Flaherty is good and I enjoy this turn of events.
• Flaherty was pulled before the seventh, and Chasen Shreve allowed a home run to Adam Frazier. I’m not going to complain about the Luke Voit trade, because realistically what was Luke Voit going to do for the Cardinals, but ughhhhhhhhhhh.
• And now Mike Mayers is in the game and walking Jordy Mercer and allowing an Elias Diaz single to put runners on the corners is not ideal. Suddenly, the tying run is on third base. Jack Flaherty should sue the Cardinals bullpen.
• Jordan Hicks, who stopped the damage in the seventh with two pitches, is starting the eighth on the mound, and he took care of business. Now to grit our teeth over a one-run lead until Matt Carpenter comes up in the top of the ninth and makes it a two or three run lead.
• Bud Norris is coming in to close out the ninth inning with a one run lead (stupid Matt Carpenter getting on base getting overturned on review), which means either the Cardinals will win or we get to yell at Bud Norris (possibly both if he allows one run and they win in extras)! Yay!
• No yelling at Bud Norris. Cardinals win 2-1. I mean, yell at Norris if you want. That’s fine too. A series win for the Cardinals, who are now in sole possession of third place in the NL Central.